Just suddenly



It’s nice to be someone else for awhile. At this moment, I am Ashley.

Its been years! i have no idea why..just suddenly i had this thought to come back to this forgotten blog. Surprised i even remembered my password.

So here i am 5 years later, sitting in the corner of Starbucks, drinking my latte, laptop on the table. I looked around and see all these people ordering their coffee, nice jazzy music playing…felt abit relaxed. i needed this. I love this feeling. like im in a totaly different place. a different country. i’ve always envisioned myself in this state. i cant explain it in words. im not really that articulate but basically i just needed this break from my hectic & stressful life. Sometimes it’s nice to just be alone.

Past year has been so tiring to a point im almost drained dry. I think im on the verge of a burnout. i cant figure out my priorities anymore. I’ve been so tied down to my day job & running my own business. too many things..too many problems appear one after another. At this point i wish i could just drop everything, pack up and leave. Go some place where no one knows me, and i can focus on doing the things i love the most. Creative art. My DIY projects. Build myself as who i really am. Be inspired and to be an inspiration. Or just sit in a corner of a cafe & watch people. Like now.

However, in 15 minutes, i have to leave this place and go back to reality. Work must go on. Ah well, it was a nice short 1hour release from reality. Till we meet again blog. Out.


Mom gives Botox to 8-year old daughter

The stories you find on Youtube are so crazy. I spent half the day staring at my tiny laptop screen like a magnet because of one disturbing story i stumbled upon on Youtube. I mean who wouldn’t be drawn to a title that says “Mom gives Botox to 8-year old daughter”. Gotcha! I bet you were drawn to read my blog too when you see the title huh?

So this is the story that caught my initial attention:

Then I could help but find out more about this story;

So now she denies it?? Geez…

This is another interview she did. In the Good Morning America interview, she said it hurt a “little bit” but got used to it. Here, the kid had an oops moment when she said her botox hurt. Observe how she looked to her mom for reassurance.

So yeah this story is crazy, and stupid. (Yet i was still determined to find out more about it.) Whatever it is, Anderson Cooper summed up my thoughts.

Well said Anderson Cooper!

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Sabah’s gem

It good to see someone from your own small town do very well in their life, and be famous because of it. I’m so proud of these homegrown talents who made it big. There are a handful but i would like to focus on Mia Palencia. Such soulful voice. Such talent. Beautiful.

She grew up being in the lime light. Always have. I first knew her when she sang at our school event. She was a couple years my junior. It was clear that she is a rare talent and who will not stop doing what she does. More than 15 years later, she’s still singing..and doing even more.  To find out more about her, go to her homepage Mia Palencia. Check out her latest album too Songs from the Jiwang Kingdom.

Enjoy one of her song from her latest album. Really hit home for me.

Valentine – Kina Grannis

I know Valentine is waaaay past and further away to the next but i just love this song. Its very sweet. The singer and writer of this song is just as sweet too. Saw her on Youtube (best source of music and raw talents.) Check her out.

Love. Its a special day. We should celebrate and appreciate the you and me. Found something neat. Be mine. Be my Valentine. I will love you. I LOVE YOU.

Monday Blues…Not!

Its a monday but i like it! My lectures start at 8.30am and by 10am, im done. So technically, on mondays i only work 1.5 hours. But this is only till Sept 2011. Come the new semester…not sure yet if i would get the same kind of schedule. But for now, I shall fill my Mondays with gratitude. Something I should have more often of.

Here’s a song for you guys to enjoy! I stumbled upon this fantastic singer/songwriter on Jango.com. Hope this song lifts you up from your Monday blues.

P/s: I cant find an official music video on this song.. Sorry. But enjoy the music nonetheless

Happy Easter!!

Easter has always been a day my whole family gathers and just enjoy a feast. When we were kids the cousins will run around my grandma’s house playing cops & robbers or we’d play with my younger cousin’s toys and create a silly game out of it. As we grew older, the activity would tone down abit. We’d probably go out to Papar town and get some banana fritters or ‘kuih pisang’ as we call it here. Since I was the only one who had a licence at that time, I end up being the driver and we’d all cramp into one car. Gosh..there were alot of us.  But its was fun. Then for a while Easter was quiet because most of us, cousins, went away to study. Now that most of us are back here, its was crowed again at any one gathering place.

This year, although not the complete family came, it was fun all the same. Since all of us have grown (but not necessarily matured..we’re still kids at heart), our main activities are eating and talking. Oh…and laughing of course. Our main topic of conversation this year was pregnancies and cravings…hahha..next year same time it’ll be babies and diapers.

I guess everyone goes through the circle of life and no matter what..when you reach a certain age, regardless of the era we are in, we talk about the same thing exactly as what our parents go through before us. You can actually predict what topic will be discussed in the next few years…and the next year after…this year its weddings Next year, pregnancies. The year after, babies. And the so on and so on…

Sometimes I do feel abit left out. Everyone around me getting married or having children. But why do I have to follow everyone else when I’m not ready, right? Im grateful that no one is pressuring and nagging at me to follow the rest. I’m taking my sweet time and enjoy life as it comes along. I used to be so stressed and pressured. But I shouldn’t. I’m happy where I am right now. I just go with the flow. So for those single people out there..don’t stress out so much about it. Life’s too precious to worry about where you’re gonna end up. Just enjoy the moment.GOD has his reasons for everything and only time will reveal what it is.


Gulp…im sitting here at 3.07am in my room this wee morning of 17th February 2010 feeling ever so nervous about the next few hours to come. Excitement and relief is also thrown into this mixed feeling of mine.

My bags are packed (which im not sure for how long i should have packed) and in a few more hours i will be heading off to QEH for a surgery to repair my clef lips. Bone grafting was what the docs told me…some bones from my hips will be transfered to cover my clef. I have no idea how they gonna do that but basically thats wat ive been told. Scary!!!

Im abit excited and relief that this is finally being done. Too long overdue..Shud have been done when I was 16. Finally at 29, I’m gonna do this. One more step closer to those perfect smile. However, I’m more scared than excited instead. I’m not scared of the surgery itself cuz i wont even be awake then. Its the post-surgery..when whatever anesthetics disappear from my system that I’m so not looking forward to. If only i cud fast forward to when im fully healed. *Sigh..God can you do such a thing?* What if i wake up with a long tube down my throat or my mouth swollen from a tear (my mouth is very small). And the pain…oh i cant imagine the pain! Arrrgghhh…im getting scared by the minute.

And worst of all.. i will be warded in QEH..urgh.. the horor! Having to see so many other sick people (not to mention dying / dead ppl) around. And obviously since its an old hospital the facilities are well…not at the most advance. And the common bathroom!!! Waaaaahhh!!! And having no more 1st class ward rooms there is just mighty… 😦 And then there’s those horror stories related to old hospitals… I can only imagine what’s roaming around in the hallways..especially on the abandoned upper floors of the hospital. Damn!

Ok think positive Astrid..at least…from this whole thing im gonna be one step closer to nice teeth and i can loose weight…hheeh…i probably wont even be able to open my mouth properly to eat anything. I can actually have all the free time to watch the whole season of Glee, Desperate Housewives, Gray’s etc (courtesy of my cuzzes)

On a lighter note, i was thinking since the surgeons will be taking some bones from my hips…hmm..i might as well get them to reshape both sides of my huge hips ey? hehhehe..killing two birds with one stone.

Anyways, i will not be around to update this blog for a while but i’ll be back very soon on my updates and my entire ordeal. Wish me luck!


my crooked lips and nose